Friday, January 16, 2009

All we have to fear...

So. Why do we have fear?

I seem to remember a science class asking this question. It was a self-preservation device. You heard the roar of a big cat, you were afraid, you ran and hid, or climbed a tree, or whatever, you were safe. You stood around wondering what the sound was, you became a kitty treat. Okay, all well and good...

Then what makes the fear of just going to speak in front of people? How about doing something you haven't ever tried before? I don't recall ever being attacked by a cat when I have spoken in front of groups. But, yet, I am terrified to do so. I don't even like to go in front of groups to stand, which I have done on more than one occasion. No lions up there, or in the audience, as I recall.

And doing something new. Unless I was doing lion taming, no big cats would generally be involved in learning most of the activities I've tried. (In fact, I have only been around big cats a couple times, and opposed to being a scary event, I could have gladly stayed longer, but the cheetah had to go back to Wildlife Safari...)

I keep wondering if the brain is so hard wired for fear, that when there isn't a 'real' danger, it has to make up one. So, if there is no big cat, well, all those scary people might be a danger...

I can't figure out the fear of the new, though. If I have done something before, no sweat, have it, do it, done. If it's new, I am sweating bullets, my stomach locks up, and I feel like I am going to drop to my knees from fright, if I am not careful.

It's a stupid feeling, I think, and one I fight quite often. People have said, "Oh, you don't look like you're scared at all." Well, I guess I hide it well. That doesn't alter the fact I do have fear, and it's really, really, REALLY annoying. Especially in a classroom situation, where more than once I have been called to try something new in front of a class...

So, why am I writing about this? Oh, no reason...

Did I mention I will be taking a Community Emergency Response Team (CERT) class this weekend?

Wish me luck.

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