Friday, July 24, 2009

Terrible Twos Redeux.

Yes, I am officially one year older than yesterday. And to scare some of my female relatives, who would rather run naked through a field of cactus than give an age... I am 42. Husband says I am going to be in my Terrible Twos.

This could be a good thing...

MINE! I will not share my time, my effort, or my energies with things that I find of no benefit or worse, drain me. This includes food, (have to if I want to lose weight), people, and maybe even some of my volunteer work. Just because it's a good thing, doesn't mean it's good for me.

NO! I will say this word more often. I have been doing a lot of things because I feel duty bound to do so, I always have done, it's expected of me, or "I SHOULD." This is where the backbone transplant should take. I don't HAVE to do much of anything. I need to choose with more eye to what will be a benefit to myself and others. If it benefits others, that is great, but if I am ready to scream, curl up into the fetal position, and sob, probably better to make other arrangements, yes?

I want to do it MYSELF! I often let others do things for me, because they feel good doing it. Which to a point is fine. In other ways it is debilitating. For example, I can't back up a trailer. This may not sound like much, but that means I have to have someone else take my trailer and park it for me. MY trailer. This is annoying, and well, if I had to drop and go, I wouldn't know how. We did haying. I didn't have any idea how that I would have been able to put the hay in the barn, by backing the trailer. It's nice I have LOTS of people to do it, but THAT'S NOT THE POINT! I need to stretch my comfort zone. I have someone willing to teach me this skill, I need to take them up on it. I finally found my guitar, I have wanted to learn to play. (Like I need another hobby, that's beside the point...) Now I have it, and some basic guitar books. Hey, if all I can manage is a wobbly version of Mary Had a Little Lamb, it will still be something I worked on and did on my own.

So, on this my natal day, what am I going to do? Shear llamas. Then probably shower, after a green out from one particularly nervous girl... Hopefully some pix tomorrow. And maybe a pix of the wasp nest, Husband got a photo.

So, I am two (again). Fear me.

2 comments:

  1. the thing that helped me the most when backing a trailer is to put your hand on the bottom of the steering wheel. that way the way you turn is the way the trailer goes. get it out in the pasture and start practicing girl! you can do it.

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  2. I have an offer of teaching me to do just that, and will take your advice as well. Just not when it's so hot...

    Gluck...

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