I have been invited to attend my 25th High School reunion. I have decided not to go. This has caused some 'oh, you poor thing' type feelings with some people, both in family and friends.
Oh, you poor thing, you can't afford it? (It would be a smidgen tight, but yes, yes I can.)
Oh, you poor thing, feeling like you would be uncomfortable about your weight, job, accomplishments? (NO. I don't like what I weigh, but I know enough of the folks there might not be Adonis/Aphrodite either. I am doing what I like here at Fur 'n Feathers, and I think my accomplishments are just fine... I just don't get paid for them, yet, is all.)
Oh, you poor thing, are you uncomfortable about not having a child, while most of your classmates do? (Again, NO. Husband and I made a choice, and have discussed it several times, and are happy being with each other and our farm. Kids are a great choice, IF you want them. We didn't.)
So, I am asked, why don't you go, and see your high school friends?
I snicker at this, a bit. I had a very small cadre' of friends in high school, and with only one or two exceptions, see the same friends now. If I went to the dinner, there is no guarantee that I would see the one or two exceptions there.
The reunion is to be held over two days, one is a dinner, that will be held about an hour or so from where we live, and is late in the evening with drinking. (We turn in about the time the dinner starts.) Husband and I don't drink (well, we do, once in a while, by choice, but WE choose), and don't really want to be with this group when they ARE drinking. (Trust me on this, my class was considered one of the most outrageous and hard to contain. There was a REASON for this.)
I keep being reminded that this is my SILVER class reunion, it's SPECIAL. Ok, so I will go to the second session, it's a pic-nic, held at a park near by, and if the group isn't completely hung over, I will see what goes on then. I will see what I will see, I don't have to worry as much about travel and drunks, and I can leave with no stain of "Party Pooper" when I decide that I have had as much enjoyment of folks I've not seen for 25 years.
Yes, people change.
Lord knows I have, in 25 years. But, I just don't see anything special about parking my butt and attending something, when I have other things I would like to do. I have been trying to, at the risk of sounding selfish, decide if things I do are just because I have to, or because it might be a benefit. Right now, it is drifting in the 'because it's expected' category. I have come to feel that isn't a valid reason, by itself. I attended either my 5th or 10th, and was underwhelmed. I, in fact, treated Husband to a movie, because we were so bored by the 'do. (Sadly, the movie wasn't all that great, either, as I recall.) I see no reason that X number of years will improve the situation.
Am I being stubborn and close minded? Thinking about it wrongly? I just don't know. I just know that people are feeling what I almost see as pity, and I can't figure out why. I don't think the pity is necessary.
For me, at least.