I have been invited to attend my 25th High School reunion. I have decided not to go. This has caused some 'oh, you poor thing' type feelings with some people, both in family and friends.
Oh, you poor thing, you can't afford it? (It would be a smidgen tight, but yes, yes I can.)
Oh, you poor thing, feeling like you would be uncomfortable about your weight, job, accomplishments? (NO. I don't like what I weigh, but I know enough of the folks there might not be Adonis/Aphrodite either. I am doing what I like here at Fur 'n Feathers, and I think my accomplishments are just fine... I just don't get paid for them, yet, is all.)
Oh, you poor thing, are you uncomfortable about not having a child, while most of your classmates do? (Again, NO. Husband and I made a choice, and have discussed it several times, and are happy being with each other and our farm. Kids are a great choice, IF you want them. We didn't.)
So, I am asked, why don't you go, and see your high school friends?
I snicker at this, a bit. I had a very small cadre' of friends in high school, and with only one or two exceptions, see the same friends now. If I went to the dinner, there is no guarantee that I would see the one or two exceptions there.
The reunion is to be held over two days, one is a dinner, that will be held about an hour or so from where we live, and is late in the evening with drinking. (We turn in about the time the dinner starts.) Husband and I don't drink (well, we do, once in a while, by choice, but WE choose), and don't really want to be with this group when they ARE drinking. (Trust me on this, my class was considered one of the most outrageous and hard to contain. There was a REASON for this.)
I keep being reminded that this is my SILVER class reunion, it's SPECIAL. Ok, so I will go to the second session, it's a pic-nic, held at a park near by, and if the group isn't completely hung over, I will see what goes on then. I will see what I will see, I don't have to worry as much about travel and drunks, and I can leave with no stain of "Party Pooper" when I decide that I have had as much enjoyment of folks I've not seen for 25 years.
Yes, people change.
Lord knows I have, in 25 years. But, I just don't see anything special about parking my butt and attending something, when I have other things I would like to do. I have been trying to, at the risk of sounding selfish, decide if things I do are just because I have to, or because it might be a benefit. Right now, it is drifting in the 'because it's expected' category. I have come to feel that isn't a valid reason, by itself. I attended either my 5th or 10th, and was underwhelmed. I, in fact, treated Husband to a movie, because we were so bored by the 'do. (Sadly, the movie wasn't all that great, either, as I recall.) I see no reason that X number of years will improve the situation.
Am I being stubborn and close minded? Thinking about it wrongly? I just don't know. I just know that people are feeling what I almost see as pity, and I can't figure out why. I don't think the pity is necessary.
For me, at least.
9 comments:
I went to my 5th, 10th and 20th. Then I had a revelation in which I decided the people from that class that I care about I already see. Sure, I think there is something very fun about seeing how people look as adults and how they have matured since HS and what they are doing. Some of that is honest, kind-hearted curiosity and some is mean-spirited voyeurism. I used to think HS reunions were once in a lifetime events that just should not be missed. Maybe I don't care anymore because I've already been to three. Maybe I don't want to go because I always have been and still am a shy person, so I would mostly still be an onlooker and that's not so much fun.
I can sure understand the reasons why you have better things to do than attend the dinner; and I'm glad you're not being pressured by people who think they know what you want to be doing with your time!
I skipped my 25th year reunion. Heck, I've skipped all of my reunions, and I still live in the same town I lived in then. I "may" go to my 50th, coming up in six years, but probably won't. I had a miserable time in high school, and couldn't wait to get out. Why should I want to see those people again?
Heck, I loved college, and I don't even go to any of those reunions.
So, I would say that if you don't want to go, don't go. You've moved on, that's all. No need for pity.
Well! If it were MY 25th anniversary class reunion......... I would be thrilled, that would mean I was considerably younger than I am now! All in all though, I probably wouldn't go anyway, better things to do, fish to fry or whatever. I couldn't stand most of the kids I went to school with anyway. Just my take on it.
Have a good day!
Hi Cat. Sometimes you have to be strong to say no.
You know your own mind and that's all you need to go with.
I hope you have a lovely picnic! It's years since I went on a proper picnic...
Bearfriend xx
PS can you believe the word verification is "catific"!!!!!
Good for you! I totally agree. I haven't gone to any of my reunions. I figure, if I don't hang out with these people anymore, why would I pay to spend an evening to be around them? Nothing against them, I just prefer my little life the way it is now.
Do what you feel is right and don't worry what other people may say or think!
Hey Cat, I am of the same opinion. If you see the folks you enjoy and don't think they'll be there, why bother? The picnic sounds good. Plus, you won't be hung over from the night before, so you'll look great!
Send me your snail mail address and I'll send you some gourd seeds. annasbasement@gmail.com
There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future."
xxx
To All:
Wow! I was sort of grumbling when I wrote this, I was feeling like I was missing something... I think my wise blog friends have pointed out to me that I am doing what I have been trying to do all along, understand what IS and IS NOT important. I thank you all for your feedback to my musing. I guess sometimes I have to realize that my life is just that, mine. I can do things, or not, as I see fit (within reason), and people who are pressuring me to do other things might mean well, but ARE NOT ME. And that's the point, I suppose...
(And Bearfriend, I am laughing myself silly at your verification!)
Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Joan of Arcadia is a takeoff from Joan of Arc - God talks to a young girl. Very uplifting show.
It just so happens that my 25th reunion is this year as well. I am trying to figure out if I want to go, this post gives me a lot to think about.
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