Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Cop Shop, and what I can talk about.

Due to an agreement I have to sign, I can't really discuss specifics when I am doing my bit here at the substation.  (It's not as glamorous as it sounds, I just can't discuss what people talk about, as it could affect convictions...  So, keeping one's mouth shut is a must.  Surprisingly, this isn't all that hard.)

But there are some I can talk about...

The lady that came in wearing shorts on her head.  And the deputy that talked to her didn't even blink.  When I asked him about it, he just replied cryptically, that isn't the weirdest thing I've seen...  (Which really makes me wonder what he HAS seen...)

A gent that came in wanting to know how to contact... the FBI.  My 'curious kitten' button was pushed, but you DON'T ask why.  Just get the info.  Found it, (we are about 2 hours + from the nearest FBI office, if you are interested), and gave him the info.  AND HE WALKED OUT.  Not fair!  Of course, now I have fodder for some wonderful fiction on that he was reporting a Ponzi scheme, or that it was some international fraud that he had info on, or, or, or...  (But still wish I knew what he wanted it for...)

Trailers have dozens of spots where you can find the identification number.  And you can get rather dirty trying to find it.  A wise deputy suggested, perhaps looking up the manufacturer online, and getting them to tell where they'd hidden the number could alleviate dirty uniforms in the future...  (Glad I didn't have to do that.  Rain and mud can make a green uniform brown very quickly!)

We have a Brand Inspector.  And I still am not sure if it's a him, or a her, as the name is "Kim".  Since I have a question about a brand for a story I'm writing, perhaps I should call and find out!

Giving a small child a Junior Deputy sticker badge to entertain him while his mother is busy is fine, but you really have to pay attention to what they do with the sticker before the child leaves, or you end up scraping a sticker off the door for the next half hour.  The lower, have to kneel into a squat, part of the door...

Quite a few deputies can eat like starving teenage boys.  And it's amazing how they zero in on the substation when the volunteers have potlucks...   

I am always amazed with people's attitudes about the deputies.  I hear about the 'big, bad lawman (or woman)' thing, and how they have no sense of humor, grouchy, etc..  But then the deputies deal with people who come in with a chip on their shoulder, ready to fight, or just with an "Stupid Cop" attitude, what do they expect?  I have had to deal with this, as well.  I told one of the deputies, they either pay attention to the 'volunteer' on my right pocket, or the star on the left, and neither one is helpful, at times.  He chuckled, and said that wasn't uncommon.  He also had noticed that I tried to be unfailingly polite to a person that was unfailingly rude to me.  He reminded me that I didn't have to deal with someone in that way.  If there is a problem, I could just ask for a deputy, and tell the person I was not going to deal with them until they settle down and behave. 


I don't know what my expression revealed at that point, but he looked at me, then said, however, there ARE limits...

Awww...   Shuckydarn!

Deputies have very interesting stories.  When they are telling one another about various items, bet your bottom dollar, however, they are paying attention to who is around and listening.  They were discussing a new police car that was being talked about as a future replacement, eventually, for some of the cars now.  I listened, then looked it up online.  One of the deputies walked by my desk, and bellowed to the back, "YEAH, SHE LOOKED IT UP!!", making me blush and squawk, simultaneously, and all the deputies crack up.   I noticed that the deputies have been quite good about letting me see info on what they do (when they can), how they do it, and so on.  I even met the newest police dog. (He is such a cutie, and thinks I am the world's best leaning post, just like my dog Rudee.  Rudee, however, was very jealous and vacuumed me thoroughly when I came home that day.)  I think they are happy to share what they can, if you show you are interested.

In truth, I have found deputies in specific, and the different police I've dealt with in general, to be... Human. 

Astounding, ain't it? 

Some are jovial, some serious, some... unique.  Some need some time off... Or something.  But they do what they need to do, they put in the time (sometimes they put in overtime) with a lot of effort and (most of the time) humor, compassion, or seriousness, as the situation calls for.

Case in point.  A woman came in, and airily told me she "needed a deputy, and wasn't going to talk to me".  I told her I at least need to have a general idea of the topic to let the deputy know what he was dealing with.  She sniffed, and said, "Drugs", in a tone of voice that implied I wouldn't know a drug if I ate it.  I went in back, and let the deputy on duty know, he had a twinkle in his eye, and said, come up and watch.  I followed him up.  He made a grand gesture of putting his elbows on the desk, putting his head on his hands so he was eye level with the lady and said, loudly, "Sooooo, drugs!  Buying or selling?" 

After she finished gasping, and I stopped laughing, she settled down, and was actually quite friendly, and he was able to get the information he needed.  And I was amused the rest of the day...

I have become the local fount of information for people, this has led to some unique conversations with deputies.  For example, you can handcuff a one armed person. Or someone in a wheelchair.  Why that I have these questions come up is beyond me, but I get 'em, and most of the time, I can find a deputy that will give me an answer, if not busy.  I draw the line at asking deputies about bathroom 'stuff', however, I figure, if someone is THAT interested in the subject of toilets and toilet-ry, well, they can ask a deputy up close and personally.

I will even get one for them...


  1. It all sounds so interesting.... and FUN! You can write all about it in your memoirs! Take notes, secretly, of course.

  2. That was an extremely interesting post. I learned a lot, and I laughed a lot. Thanks for that inside view into your job.

  3. Sharon:

    Nah, really, most of the things talked about are taking of names and information (you know the thing about, the story is the same, but the names have been changed... that sort of thing, but not in the cool tv way, in the geez, people, get a life sort of way, more often than not) But it fun, most of the time, or at least interesting, to me, anyway.


  4. Louise:

    Glad to share what I can! Besides, it's more interesting than "I cleaned the chicken house..."


  5. if I wasnt a nurse I would have liked to have trained as a policeman.......
    I wonder why?

  6. John:

    I have the sneeking feeling that as a nurse, you probably get a few... unique stories in your line of work, too. But I think sometimes all kids want to be a policeman at one time or another... At least a majority do.



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