Monday, August 02, 2010

He ain't Lassie, obviously.

I am pleased to report that for the last 2 months, I have been walking EVERY day, except one. (I ended up having some time problems, and walked more the next day.  Not exactly what I'd planned, but when I was behind all day, I had to figure out some way to get things in order again.)

So, due to "needing" an exercise partner, and the fact that my family is afraid I will be attacked by wild animals when out, (it sounds funny, but is an actual concern.  Husband saw some cat about 2 days ago, and scared it off.  I still refuse to carry a pistol.  I may start carrying pepper spray, however.) I haven't had too much problem with any animal while walking, unless you count stumbling over Tuxedo sometimes.  I have seen several deer while walking, a few turkeys, evidence of coyotes, and of course, my llamas.  And recently I have had the di-stink-ed suspicion we have a pole cat around.  EEEeeeewwww.  I guess I could also say I have had some incidents with the neighbor's bull, as well.  He relates human coming along to getting food.  So he stands on the other side of the fence from where I walk, and roars, bawls, and generally makes a fool of himself, yelling at me to get him food.  You haven't heard a bellow, until you are nearly nose to nose with an annoyed bull. (It's worse if we come up with the 4 wheelers, that's what the neighbors hay with.)  But it's a good, strong fence, (and electric), so he is full of sound, LOTS of sound, and fury, but not a whole lot, otherwise.  Paraphrasing, there. 

Fortune holds, he's not an aggressive thing, just noisy, so I just ignore him.

So.  I walk with Rudee for protection.  Now we just have to figure out what he's protecting me from

Why, you ask? 

First, I will tell you, NO ONE WAS HURT.  I have tried to get up early, and walk when it's cool.  That means that there is still dew on the grass.  I wear comfortable work shoes, that have very little in the way of tread left on them.  They are surprisingly heavy shoes (steel toed work boots, don't ask me why those are my most comfortable pair to walk in), so I never have worried about stumbling, or catching a foot on something. 

Ahem...

I had a suggestion from one of the boys, (yes, kids, the oldest is 20), in Search and Rescue to exercise to "Blow Me Away" by Breaking Benjamin. 

This was a great idea, albeit he suggested that I might not like the music, because of my age. 

Damned whippersnapper...  

I kinda like the music, actually, but I am really eclectic in my tastes.  Anyway, I went full out, as fast as I could go, (which while not all that fast, it was a good jog for Rudee, and I was a puffin' before half the song was over), when I slipped. 

I carry poles to walk with, and they when straight out from me.  No help.  I saw the ground coming up, and I still don't know why I remembered it, but called up and used my karate class practice to fall safely.  I believe my teacher called this muscle memory. 

Thing is, my muscles must have a great memory, if I had to have thought, then done it, I don't know if I could have remembered how.  That, and the fact that was about 20+ years ago when I took the classes.  However, I did manage to fall, and then stop, without tearing up my person.  Rudee was right there. 

I have a hard time getting up when I am on the ground.  I have to roll over, get on my knees, and more or less lever myself up, as my knees are not really geared to support me to rise.  Think of an inchworm type movement, and that's more or less how I have to get to a standing position. So I roll, then stop.  Something is behind me.  I roll back, and figure out, somehow, one of my shoes came off in the fall.  So, I am on my back, holding my shoe, and Rudee charges over, and proceeds to lick my face. 

OOH! Mom's where I can get a great lick shot! 

So I am fighting off doggy drool, and then he decides that I must want to snuggle.  I'm on the ground, so that must be it.  He flops over, and lands right on the MP3 player.  The one attached to my neck with a cord.  And has ear buds.  Also with a long cord.  He thought this was just cool, hey, Mom's on the ground, let's just be happy and roll.  And he did. 

I have a dog nearly 90 pounds, wiggling like a puppy, pinning me by my MP3 player, and one shoe off, can't reach my poles, what else could go wrong?

That's when I realised Rudee had found one of the llama potty piles, and had been liberally rolling in it to fragrance himself. 

(Go ahead, laugh.  I did.)

So, I command, OFF!

wiggle wiggle, lick.

GET OFF ME!

wigglewigglewiggle,lickwigglesniff.

Finally, I manage to push him, make like I am going to throw my shoe, and yell, GO FETCH!

He bolts upright, and runs toward the phantom tossed shoe, giving me enough time to roll over and get on my front, and lever far enough to get upright, barely.  I did get a few more 'kisses' in from him, but was able to get standing quickly. (Motivation, perhaps?)

I finally got my shoe on, found my poles, and more or less got dog drool, and offal, off my face, and got myself going again.  The dog was happy, my player still works, (and I managed to get all the poo smell off from it.  Thank goodness for plastic.)  And I roughed up the bottoms of my boots so they aren't quite so smooth.

Thank Goodness my name ain't Timmy.

; D

14 comments:

  1. omg that is too funny, sorry don't mean to laugh at other people's misfortune, but just the way you descibed it...hilarious and I can so picture it. lol Hope you didn't get hurt too badly.

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  2. Cat, that has got to be one of the funniest stories that I have read in a long time. I really mean it when I say that I laughed until I cried. You have one heck of a knack for telling a story.

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  3. So... are you completely all right? Are your knees unscathed? That's quite a post, you generally have me on the edge of my chair! Just like today. :o)

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  4. Well, that was a fun walk! LOL

    I did get good visuals from your post and yes, I did laugh.

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  5. I've had a similar experience, but with a goat instead of a dog when I was younger. I went down, had my foot caught in some exposed roots, and my goat looks at me with surprised excitement, and then proceeded to stand on my back with all four feet and bleet in contented happiness. She was still the best goat I ever had despite the blatant disregard for authority. ;) I'm glad you weren't hurt and got a good laugh out of it. ;D

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  6. Thank goodness for muscle memory! So glad you are not broken anywhere. I'm going to have to search up Karate and how they teach falling. Too bad there was no one around to film Rudee and his effort to join your "playtime" maneuver. I laughed too. Roughing up the bottoms of the shoes is a good idea. Thanks.

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  7. Callie:

    I am glad I'm not broken, myself. The style I took was Tae Kwan Do, if that helps. However, I am rather glad that no one was around for "film at 11".

    Cat

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  8. Kristine:

    Ok, now that's an image for ME. I want goats, but hoof massage might be a bit more than I am looking for...

    Cat

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  9. Carol............:

    Good visuals, but trust me, the smell wasn't so hot!

    Cat

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  10. Sharon:

    Yes, amazingly, the only thing that I found was a tiny little scratch on my arm, and that might have been from Tuxedo getting a bit too agressive, so I think I came out unscathed.

    And hang on to that chair, I don't need someone ELSE falling!

    Cat

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  11. Louise:

    Hitting LOL territory, huh? Cool!
    Thanks!

    Cat

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  12. Tina:

    No, wasn't hurt amazingly enough, and yes, if I can laugh when it was happening, if for no reason than it being totally rediculous, than you certainly can!

    ;)

    Cat

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  13. Oh my gosh that was funny!!!

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  14. I'm glad it all turned out for the best, and that you can laugh at it.

    I agree about the whippersnappers. Not sure what to do about those.

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