Saturday, January 08, 2011

Don't hate me because I'm dependable...

Thursday I had a last minute call to work at the substation.  I said to the coordinator, "Hope it's nothing serious..."  She replied that the one I was replacing for that shift was in the hospital having EKG's done.

Oops.  Uh.  Not good.

So, I spent a fairly quiet Friday morning in the substation.  The only big job I had was to add up the hours of one of the volunteers that had died recently.  (They give an posthumous honor to volunteers at awards dinners, and one is coming up.  They mention how many hours the person has put in.  This guy was well over 5000.)  I don't do math well, so after finding all of his hours from 1998 to now, I was busy, busy adding stuff up. 

(This stuff isn't on spread sheets, I did it old school, looking it up on paper, and figuring it out. Boo-yah!  Or equivalent thereof...)  :)

We had a potluck at the end of my shift, and so we were all chatting, and it came up that one I replaced was in the hospital.  The coordinator mentioned that I was the one she called right off.  I didn't think anything of it.

Not a beat later, my "boss" pipes up, "Yes, you can either make 10 calls, or you can call her and get it taken care of."  I had just taken a drink, and it went down rather badly.  I suddenly had all the eyes in the place focused on me, and some with less than a pleased look.  Being that I am rather bad about being the center of attention in the best of situations, I was just wondering how I was going to survive, and if I was going to have the verbal equivalent of egg on my car when we finished.

Before I could say anything, one of the other volunteers shrugged.  "Well, at least some one's dependable around here..."  That led to several head nods and "uh-huh"'s.  I kept my mouth shut, the boss looked like a canary swallowing feline, and I hoped desperately that the subject would change.

It did.


Somehow, I think that's the fastest I have ever digested lunch...  Gurgle...

Beautifully different.  Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up.  Reflect on all the things that make you different - you'll find they're what make you beautiful.  (Karen Walrond)

I don't know why that these questions hit my smart... button.  What do I do that lights people up?  Shine a flashlight on them. 

OK, seriously.  I have a slightly off center way of looking at things, and it amuses people.  Mom and Dad bought us a bed set for Christmas, and I was telling her about the set.  I mentioned it had pillows in it.  She hadn't realized it, and I told her yes, there was a normal square pillow, a rectangular one, and this one shaped like a Tootsie Roll with dreadlocks.  Then I realized she was cracking up. 

"I think what you are describing is  bolster pillow."  Oh.  OK.  (The rectangle had dreadlocks too, by the way.)  

I also have been working (not always successfully, but I am working on it) on not swearing.  This was paramount when I was working in the schools, and I have felt it would reflect better on the substation if I didn't let fly with a robust soliloquy of expletives when something went wrong.  With my using a computer, it happens with sad regularity.  So, I have come up with a way to blow off steam, that doesn't offend.  Mostly. 

I was having the usual screw up on the computer, and snorted a hearty "Hairballs!" 

A deputy I had forgotten was in the back cracked up, and soon peeked around the corner, assuring me that I could probably say something with a bit more 'zest' than that.  I told him it would probably be better if I didn't.  He chuckled, then went back to what he was doing. 

Later, I knew that there was several deputies, some Child Services folks and my boss, all within earshot.  I tried to be quiet.  Which worked well, until I managed to snag a foot and almost trip. 

"Fried hairballs with gopher gravy!"

Dead silence, then a very interesting combo of laughter and eeeeeews.  I kid you not, the same deputy came out, wiping tears from his eyes, and told me he really didn't want to have lunch where I ate.  He continued laughing, and went back to what he was doing.  The Children's Services gals left soon after, and one commented much the same thing, but hers was with more of a sea sick green pall. 

Dad has commented on the way I draw, it looks as if I see the item I am drawing and am tracing it.  Husband is always amazed that I can knit without looking at my work (which isn't quite true, it's limited to when I am knitting plain, and usually larger gauge yarn.  But, if it impresses him, that's cool...)

So, my lighting up people is with goofy sideways of looking at things...

Ta da...  :)


  1. Your way of lighting the world shows in your blog. It's why I read it.

  2. Fried hairballs with gopher gravy??? Ooh! Yep, there's the light! Should I walk towards it or bask in it? You are a hoot, Girl! I don't know how you do it, you are so bleep funny! You make me giggle all the time! (It's hard to type a comment when I am bouncing!)

  3. Fabulous! I love your sense of humor.

    Oh, and if you save the expletives for a really horribly serious situation, you have the advantages of being taken seriously on the rare occasion you do say it, and of enlarging the vocabulary as you try to step around it.

  4. I love the bedroom set story. Reminds me of a few years ago when things weren't wireless yet. We were visiting at a restaurant on the subject of technology, and in response to what was being said, I asked, "What's wiffy?" Of course, I meant wi-fi, but a the time I didn't know what it was! My husband and kids still laugh at that. I was mortified because I like to fancy that I keep up with technology!


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