Wednesday, April 24, 2013

U. Unsolved Mysteries.

U

- How is it I can knit for several hours on a baby blanket, measure, and have an increase of about an inch.  I knit again, for about an hour, set it aside, measure again, and there is about SIX inches?  

- Why is it almost a surety that if I use the restroom, or bathe, the phone will ring? Even more so if I have forgotten to bring it into the room??

- Similarly, if I decide not to get dressed, and stay in my nightgown, that will be when a neighbor comes over to visit?

- When I want to watch an article on the news, that will be when the power goes out, or the signal drops on the decoder.  On rare occasions, it even seems to happen on the computer...  

- How do the animals know that I am not paying attention, and choose that moment to 'leak' out a gate not quite shut, or stick a nose into an open feed barrel?

- Why can I pick up every last bit of yarn, string, fiber, and fluff, and then still manage to have the vacuum wind up at least one string from a dog food bag?

- Why do I always manage to have my roseacea flare up (my face turns bright red), when there is someone around who thinks I am embarrassed/having a hot flash/other editorial, and announces it to the room in general, usually proportional to how many people are IN said room...

- How come I can always find dog, cat, llama or chicken poo when I am in a hurry, and wearing good shoes?  (And haven't gone to the areas that there should BE poo in?) 

- When I plant, how come everyone knows what rodent, animal, or problem is occurring in my garden, before I do?  And usually notices, but forgets to tell me, until something is eaten, or dug up??

- How can I always attract the animal with the exact opposite color hair to what I am wearing, i.e., the black llama with a white sweater.  If I would wear a black coat, meh.  That would attract the white llama!

*******

U for Unexpected today.  I don't watch much tv, but I like Hawaii 5-0, old and new.  Mom bought me a shirt with Hawaii 5-0 on the front, and "Book 'em, Danno" on the back.  Now for a lei and pineapple juice, I am ready to go! Heh... (Thanks, Mom!)

I will be going in to have a security upgrade today.  I have volunteered, (you'd think I'd learn, wouldn't you?), to work with the Neighborhood Watch program as a presenter.  I will have some access to 'restricted' files through the Sheriff's Office, so I will be checked.  Again.  I think I have been checked three or so times now. 

I made the mistake one time of commenting to a (rather young) deputy, "Guess it's fine as long as they don't find that murder I committed in Oklahoma in 1935."  He kept looking oddly at me.  Finally, I snorted, and said, "I was born in the 60's, just how old do you think I am?"  He then blinked on pink, and decided I was joking.  Sheesh.  My hair isn't THAT gray...



4 comments:

  1. lol... unsolved mysteries abound!
    You've got some good ones, familiar, too.

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  2. The second one, i've learned to use it to my advantage in two ways. If i don't want to be disturbed in the restroom, i take the phone. It then will not ring, because it is handy. If i forget, it will ring.

    Also, if i'm tired of waiting for someone to call, i go to the restroom without the phone. This forces the person to call at that exact moment.

    And no, you don't look old, but young people are notoriously bad at guessing any age much more than 10 years beyond their own.

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  3. Born in the 60s? You're just a kid! Ha!

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  4. These are always mysteries. I need Poirot or Nero Wolfe to figure them out for me! :) The same things. ALL these same things happen to me. At least one of them every day of my life. I ask the Universe, but i never get an answer.. lol. Maybe they're just supposed to make our lives more interesting?

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