Thursday, May 10, 2012

I don't know how I feel.

It was a gorgeous day today.  It was a little breezy, there were lovely little puffball clouds in the sky, and it was just right for a light sweater or a jacket.

I had on a nice pair of pants, and a presentable top.  Wore a nice jacket.  I made sure I was clean, and neat, and had my hair done up nicely.

We went up to the church, and said hello to friends, we chatted a bit, then found a place to be while waiting, and read the little card.

Then the funeral started.

I really had odd thoughts.  It was a girl I had babysat when she was a toddler.  I was sad, yes, but I was more confused.  I suppose that sounds strange, but I still think of her (thought of her?) as a "little" girl.  Younger than me, she died at 37, of medical problems.

She isn't supposed to be dead...

I went, mostly, for her parents.  After the shock of losing their daughter, I sort of felt I should be there.  My Dad had worked with her Dad, my Mom and Dad had socialized on occasion with them, and I'd babysat for them.  And now, at a cemetery, near a farm, I listened to a rooster crow, and watched a horse mill about, as she was given her last goodbyes by family and friends.

It was a strange day. 

18 comments:

  1. Kudos and hugs to you for being there.

    It's always difficult, and i will be saying a special prayer for them, and you, tonight.

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  2. It's hard to deal with sometimes. It just seems so strange.
    I'm heading to Utah in a few days. A classmate of mine told me years ago that if I ever got out that way to give him a call. I Googled him to see if I could find a current phone number. I found his obituary. He died a few weeks ago. I might be feeling a bit like you felt.

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    1. Yes, that would make things... sad. I hope your trip goes well, though...

      Cat

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  3. It is good that you went for her family and for yourself. These kind of things are never easy. I breaks my heart thinking of all the loss in the world for people, sometimes it is overwhelming.Sorry to sound dramatic but it has been a strange few months for me also. Hug B

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    1. I feel that way at times, too. Go have a cuppa tea, and listen to some uplifting music or some such. Or, talk to a friend. Hugs back,

      Cat

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  4. I think moments like this are designed to make us realize how precious life is. Sorry for your loss.

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    1. Thank you. I felt like giving the family long hugs, let's just put it that way...

      Cat

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  5. It's so very strange, difficult and heartbreaking when a young person we've known dies. It was so very kind and considerate of you to attend the funeral, Cat, when it's the last thing you really wanted to do. I'm sure her parents truly appreciated your gesture.

    On a happier note--I adore the whimsical name of your blog. It immediately drew me in when I saw the link on someone else's blog. :)

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    1. I hope so. Being this area is rural, it's help family, even if family isn't actually related...

      And Welcome!

      Cat

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  6. Life is so precious and losing a child, not matter what her age, is probably the most difficult thing to go through. I know the parents appreciated that you were there for them. I am sorry for your loss. Take care, Inger

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    1. I think you have said it very truly. and I hope that is true, I want to be there for them... Thanks.

      Cat

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  7. It is hard to make sense out of something that certainly doesn't make sense. So sorry for your loss.

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  8. Hi Cat, It's always difficult whatever the situation and people appreciate the physicality of others attending on these occasions.
    New follower from A - Z (found you on the 'surprise me' button).
    http://sallys-scribbles.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Welcome, and I hope you will find some of my other blogging a bit more cheerful...

      Cat

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  9. This brought back the memory of when I was in my 20s. My girl friend's husband died. He was in his 20s.

    He was supposed to be alive.

    You are right ... she should be alive at 37.

    My sympathies for the family and for you. The loss of a "child" at any age is out of sinc with nature.

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    1. Several people talked about that very thing, you are supposed to have your kids outlive you... And thanks.

      Cat

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