Rain, rain, go away, I really, really don't wanna do the splits today! We have been having our rain here, snow everywhere else (except Florida, from what I gather), but we have rain. This would not normally bother me.
Except...
I found out that we have a type of soil that is slick. I have walked enough that I have created a "dirt" trail. This was a little spooky when it was icy. But my boots grip pretty well, and my sticks dig in, so I had no big problems.
Wet is another story. I have to be rather careful, the boots slide, and the sticks sink. This makes walking with speed almost impossible. Then there are the puddles that have been marinating the llama beans. (Or other... things.) Splash! ICK! I am happy to say that I have yet to lose a boot in the muck. I am not so happy to say my laundry load is more filthy than usual...
But, I am still alive and quacking walking, avoiding poo, and going for it, so all is well.
Squish...
***
Prompt: Lesson learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?I suppose the best thing I have found out about myself, is that I can overcome being a fluff head if I need to, and shyness can be squashed. (And no, that's not two things, they are related... Read on.)
I have a hard time speaking up for myself, and so, I just let people decide, oh, she is x, she can (or can't) do x, she won't (or will) x... You get the idea. They say this, and I have this stupid choking sensation, then don't say anything. So X ends up being what someone else says, not what I might actually feel. This is a pain in the posterior. And I just grit my teeth, and say fine, then realize I don't give a rat's red rump about x, and people then think I am dork, because I don't do it, or forget to. (Well, do you really want to do something someone else has foisted on you?) And then I get the fluff head award, because I forgot to do something, or didn't get something done.
For some reason, I have started saying a magic word, and it's helped a lot, solving the fluff problem, and works on the shy part some.
Let's say it all together now, shall we?
NO.
I haven't been able to use it completely comfortably, but I am learning that "no" doesn't have to be a last resort. I don't have to use it after trying to do something I didn't want to do in the first place, and then feel guilty about. I can (GASP) just say no. The world doesn't screech to a stop, throwing the llamas into space, pigs do not fly, causing Rudee to run wildly around in his kennel. Might cause some people to think I am stubborn, or a jerk. I guess I will have to live with that.
At least if I say yes, it will be because I want to... And the time when I am a fluff head can be reserved for when I haven't brushed my hair...
