Is it over yet? Gawd, I hope so...

You ever have one of those weeks where you wonder what ELSE is going to happen?

I had two. 

Nothing big, just enough little stuff that I was beginning to personally understand the concept of "being nibbled to death by ducks".  I started last week with a bit of an ache in my LEFT ankle.  The GOOD ankle.  The one that DOESN'T hurt, as a rule. 

Ow. 

Ok, ignore it, it's just a little ache... Well, as of two weeks, it not only hasn't gone away, it has actually awakened me at night.  I don't want to go to the shiny new doctor, but I am not sure what it is.  It might just be some new and interesting arthritis, but it seems to be in the muscle, not the bone, so I am just a tad confused.  And it doesn't ALWAYS hurt.  With the other ankle, when it hurts, it hurts.  So, I might have a wrenched tendon.  I is soooo excited. 

Not...

I decided to check in as the Public Info Officer, and Le Boss said he'd like to have the CERT program have a Facebook page (as well as a newsletter, which I finished, but didn't get a thing from him about what was to be in it, so we shall see what ensues).  I decided to take a class on Facebook, so I would not be totally in the dark on how it works.  After spending the funds and going to the first class...

I realized that just by watching Husband, who has a page, I knew more than the teacher.  I asked at the beginning of the class if one could have a 'business' page, without a personal page.  He dinn't know.  Well, can I do X, to privatize the personal page.  He dinn't know. 

Ooooookay, if I get on there, and I want to reject a person's "gifts" that are sent me, how do I do that?  He... dinn't know THAT, either.  I suffered through 4 classes, and begrudgingly, I did learn a little, (he did seem to know some amount about privacy settings, which I most definitely wanted...), but I think I could have saved the $24 for goodies on my trip in June (priorities, ya know), and just muddled around and figured out the thing ON MY OWN. 

Then the dork went on, and on, and on the last day, he was late to class again, (he'd been late the last time), and then had the cajones to say that we could all stay late, HE had nothing else he needed to do after class.  I was about to get up and leave, just because I was so frustrated, but one of the other gals piped up and said, well, you may not, but I have to go to work.  I slipped out with her.  The teacher then called out after us that he had 3 more classes coming up, and we shouldn't miss 'em, they will be this summer.  Sure thing, guy...

When H*ll freezes solid and the Devil wears a Parka, maybe. But most likely, not even then.

But before I left, one of the others asked about the business vs. personal thing, again.  Oh, he said, I looked that up, you can do that.  (I am quite proud of myself, I didn't strangle him on the spot.)  So, now, I am going to ON MY OWN figure out how to take DOWN the page I made, which I didn't want.  (I really have nothing against Facebook, per se, it just doesn't interest me.)  I will then make the CERT page, and be able to just baby sit that.  I just have to write a nice thank you to the few that 'friended' me, and explain why I am going to drop the page. 

Tux, (the lovely sight you behold in my bio photo), was not doing too well.  I am not sure what happened, but he was cut in the neck, as if he had been bitten or scratched in a fight.  I am nursing him as much as I am able, he seems to be recovering nicely (he seems to feel the cheese is quite a palliative.  I agree.  Except I wish he would not try to remove my fingers in the process...) 

I put up my greenhouse, on the only half day I had free this last two weeks.  Now, I am an Oregonian, so I don't worry over a bit of rain. 

Ahem. 

I had to get my hat when it started, as I was building the greenhouse. (It is one of those cool Tinkertoy kind, that has the slip on plastic cover.  Ok, yes, I am strange, but I like the build-it kind.)  I was getting a bit chilled, but by gumbo, I was NOT going to quit.  So I went in the house, got my raincoat.  The wind was picking up enough that I had to get a magnet to hold the directions down.  Did that wise me up? No, I plugged along.  Rudee hid in his dog house, watching the crazy woman at work.  It was only when Husband came home, and I couldn't say hello without my teeth chattering, he said he'd get lunch, and maybe I should get dry before I went to class.  So, I go to class, what happens? 

The sun comes out.  It's beautiful!  Gorgeous!  Wonderful!  And I am stuck in a room with Mr. Dork that doesn't know anything, and never turns off his cell during class. 

On the bright side, when I got home, Husband had helped me with a problem I had understanding one part of the directions, and had finished the green house. 

Ta Da!  Rudee loves the shade.  Most of the time...

Then I finally figured, I will get payback for all of this annoyance, I had on the calendar, for about 2 months, a "Rural Living" expo, at the county fair grounds.  Mom had called and asked when it started.  I looked it up, found nothing.  Hmm.  So I looked it up on another website.  Still nothing.  Finally remembered a vendor I knew was going to be there, looked on that site, which directed me to the Rural Living website, and...

They'd cancelled the expo.  I couldn't help it, I laughed my head off, it just fit with all the nonsense of the last two weeks.  So, I decided, darn it, I have a free day, I went out and cleaned out one of the gardens, and helped Husband clean his truck (until my ankle started up again), and made a day AT HOME of it. 

So, nothing major, as far as it went this last two weeks, I was just continually on the go, and it was just STUPID little stuff that I had to deal with.  (Well, except for the animals and Husband, they were good, for the most part.  Llamas didn't even get grumpy this week.  And I am cutting back on the feed since it's going into grazing season.) So, this next week is not going to be as busy, and I am going to be able to work some more on the garden(s), as the mighty weather guessers say it's supposed to be nice for a day or two, and I think I am going to...

Well, I don't know, but it will not involve Facebook, that teacher, or being on the go every day this next week. 

I will be spinning at an Ag Expo next weekend. 

If they don't cancel.

Homer-ic Teachings. (D'oh!)

I found out that Springfield, Vermont was the winner of the "real" home of Homer Simpson. (Springfield, Oregon came in 3rd. Boo, hoo...) For some reason, that amused me. And made me think of the one time Homer Simpson was actually helpful...

I was working in a remedial reading class, assisting a boy one one one. He was working on reading "The Little Red Hen". The teacher said, he is having some trouble with a few words, see what you can do. (I worked one on one, so the child had a lower stress time reading, I would make notes on what had been mis-pronounced, and we'd work on it...)

Sooooo, we start reading Red Hen. Everything's going smoothly, until he reaches the point where said roan colored poultry starts making the bread, and makes DOUGH.

"The little red hen makes the DOO-Gah."
"That's dough, hon."
"Oh, OK."
"Then the little red hen put the DOO-Gah in the pan."
"Uh. Dough, hon, the stuff bread is made of? Dough."

He did remarkably well with the rest of the story, and I asked him to read it to me again. He never seemed to mind this, and started the bird book again...

Then the dreaded DOO-Gah. Again.

I knew this was the trouble spot, and I knew he had a great memory, if I could link the word to something he knew. I tried the normal, this is what bread is made of, tried to explain the "gh" sound, (note to teachers, if you have someone working for you that reads English texts, remind them "plough" confuses the living CRAP out of American kids...) and a few other things, with NO result.

DOO-Gah.

Crap.

Finally, in a burst of insanity desperation inspiration, I said, "Say, hon, have you ever watched the Simpsons?"

The dam broke. Not only did he watch the Simpsons, he thought Bart was terrific, he wanted a sister like Maggie, but not Lisa, andandandandandand and...

Uh, OK. Easy quiz, kiddo, what does Homer say when he messes up?

"D'OH!"

"OK, great. See this word? Dough? When you see it, say it so it sounds like Homer's D'oh. OK?

"OH!! Dough?"

Eureka!

"Yes, hon, dough. Not DOO-Gah."

I was pleased. The connection had been made. Perhaps too well.

"Then the little Red Hen made the (LOUDLY) D'OH! And she kneaded the (LOUDLY)D'OH! And she put the (BELLOW)D'OH in the oven to bake...

I didn't know if I should laugh or cry. He DID get it, but the reading of Little Red Hen in that manner was... Shall we say, unusual? About then, his teacher came in. Bless his heart, the little guy beams at his teacher, and says, I can read it through, no mistakes!!!" I am mortified. I hadn't had time to tell him not to bellow D'oh.

Oh, Gawd.

He proceeds to read to the teacher. D'OH! D'OH! D'OH! I watch, hoping I had a job when he finishes. The teacher had a rather strange expression when he finished. "My, that WAS a good reading. Um, perhaps I can borrow the IA (me) for a minute, you go find a toy, let's give you some free time for that great reading."

We walk out the door, and I am getting nervous, she hasn't said a word to me all the way out, and still has this odd expression on her face.

We go out of the classroom, she closes the door, and bursts into unrestrained, over the top laughter. "I LOVE IT! HE GOT THE WORD! I would have never thought of HOMER SIMPSON!"

You're not angry, I ask?

Angry? NO! I have been trying to get him to understand that for a week! Homer Simpson... Whereupon, she burst out laughing again.

It all worked out, except when I subbed in that school, the teachers, upon seeing me, would walk up, and instead of Hello, for the rest of the year, I was greeted with...

D'oh!

Yeesh...