V is for Da da da da da da, VAC MAN!

I was pretty young when this happened, grade school, I think.

We had gone to bed, and it was pretty late, I know I'd been asleep for a while.  Something woke me.  Next thing I know, Mom was sounding upset, and I heard noises in the front room.

I got up, and started to go into the hallway to the front room.

Mom bellowed, "Get back in your room, and close the door!"

I did, but not before I got a glimpse of Dad's backside, naked, running around with the vacuum cleaner, randomly swatting the air.  No clue what was going on, and I was trying hard not to giggle.

As it turned out, we had a bat in the house, and Dad was using the vacuum to chase it down.  I heard thumps, some swearing, clanks, then a "swwwONK" noise from the vacuum.  Then, finally, quiet.

Dad said, "It's still alive, I'll go take it outside."

Mom's reply, "PUT SOME UNDERWEAR ON FIRST!"

Yeah, I lost the giggle battle at that point...

Our family seems to have a problem with males and bats.  My Grandpa was painting his house, and was leaning out to paint the trim, when something came out at him.  His first reaction was to swat at it.  Well, he looked up, and saw a Hunter Green bat flying away...

That animal, I must say, isn't one I have dealt with overmuch.  But I must say, it has made for some funny stories in our family...

O is for oink, hiccup... Snore...

Grandpa used to raise pigs.  I wasn't allowed anywhere NEAR said pigs, as Grandpa was afraid that they would knock me down, or hurt me.  I liked to watch when he fed them, though, I always thought the wiggly noses looked amazingly funny.

Grandpa would also make beer and wine.

One time, he'd made a huge batch of the stuff, and it had been raining.

A lot.

We'd come over to visit, and Grandpa was feeding the mash to the hogs.  One big, aggressive male ate most of it.  Grandpa didn't think too much of it at the time...

Well, a bit later, he went to check on things out in the back, and came in hollering for Daddy to help him.

That great big hog was drunk.  So drunk he couldn't stand, and kept falling into the now soupy muck, and trying to sleep.  The wiggly nose was barely quivering.

Dad and Grandpa tried to roll the hog, lift the hog, several different things, that silly hog was just blissfully blasted, I think you could have set a firecracker off in his left ear, and he might have yawned...  So, Grandpa got a board, and between his lifting, and Daddy shoving the board, they managed to make a high spot under the pig's chin so he wouldn't drown.

A pig's snore is actually quite loud!

Grandpa was admonished to feed the mash in much smaller quantities to the pigs, after that.