Showing posts with label Nerves.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nerves.. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Jelly in the Belly? Noooo...


I don't know if anyone else uses this term, "Jelly" for nervousness?  In high school some of my friends would say they were "jelly-legged", or had felt like they had eaten jelly (or something) and it had soured.

I have never felt 'jelly' when I am nervous.

Fear, on occasion, like when I was on the high dive, trying to get my courage up, and the (censored) coach threw me in.  I screamed all the way down, took in water, and barely made it back to the edge of the pool.  Then I wouldn't go on the high dive, and she just couldn't understand why.  Can't to this day.  Now that is jelly legs.  I even look at a high dive and start to shake.

But nerves?  No jelly.  I can be as cool as a cucumber.  (Well, except for the turning even whiter than my usually fair skin.  I keep thinking if I get much whiter, I might just go invisible one of these days...) But I get a ROCK in my belly.  Not butterflies, not jelly, but a solid mass, that feels like I ate a medicine ball.

I had an interview yesterday.  It was in front of more than a dozen or so people, and I hate with a passion speaking in front of people.  I dislike almost as much talking about myself.  Blogging is fine, but speaking just about tears me up. (No, I don't do well in job interviews, without an extensive amount of practice in the days before...  Something tells me I wouldn't do so well in sales.)

So, I had to do both.  Thankfully, I didn't have to stand, or I might have probably thrown up... Gotta get rid of the medicine ball somehow...

And oh, joy, the ball was right there in my gut.  I was dry mouthed, squeaked a couple times when I talked, and when I was challenged once, I nearly lost any thread of thought to respond.  I did manage to, and might have even sounded coherent.  I hope, anyway.  And through it all, I didn't shake, no jelly.

Odd, the terms we use for slang, yes?  I guess with slang, your mileage may vary...