Slow days, and "guy" thing?

I wish I could tell you all the exciting stuff going on 'round here.

Uh.  I have three different socks on needles, 2 sets for me, one is a Christmas present.  The Christmas one is a completely different, toe up, complex sock, which I had never tried before.  The selling point for it, was another customer, who told me "I love this sock, and with the directions, you don't end up in the fetal position in the corner halfway through..."  Good enough for me.  Let's just say, I have HAD that problem with some patterns.  Especially since I have managed to get a pattern or two with typos. GAH!


The weather has been freezing or below, so Husband is doing a little extra feeding of the animals for me, I think. I can't get out there, he could be playing Pinochle with the llamas, for all I know.  But they seem happy, what I can see from the house.  Rudee isn't, since I can't come out and walk him.  I didn't think I would miss that so much, but out of all the things I can't do right now, that's pretty much top.  That and going to the substation for my shift.  (And, truth be told, that's mostly for the cop gossip... grin.)

I went to the doctor, and he is pleased with the way the leg is healing up, and has giving me the rules for doing 'stuff', to wit:  indoors, I can walk without the boot.  Outdoors, or if I am carrying something (indoors or out), always wear the boot.  The boot is a support, so I can't say I don't like it, but it is a BEAR to get on and off.  It has about 6 big Velcro straps that want to catch on everything.  And if I am not paying attention, I get stuck on the blanket, try to walk, and one of two things happen, the blanket comes with me, or more likely, I am stuck in place, and have to unstick the darn thing!

Ok, I know not ALL guys have this attitude, (actually, Husband doesn't...), but what IS it about guys and farts?  I had to take Percocet.  I started having SEVERE problems with flatulence.  I mean, I was very glad we didn't have visitors, or open flame, (not in that order...)  I finally have been able to get to 'normal' and not have to take meds.  No more gas.

So, doctor asks if I have had any problems with the leg.  I said no, but I did with the meds, I had gas like crazy.  THE DOCTOR LAUGHS!  He laughs like I told a joke!  It reminded me of an 8 year old, with about the same level of sophistication...

And farting seems to be the comedy du jour of lots of the male species.  Doctor then said, well, you said you were oblivious, the farts shouldn't have bothered you... I then reminded him that Husband was NOT taking said meds, and it was bothering him a LOT.  This was greeted with even more merriment.  He did then settle down enough to tell me that it is one of the side effects, and should be fine when I stop taking the stuff.  And it is... But...

What am I missing?  What is the thing of farting being a laugh riot for some of the XY group?

Can't even blame the dog...

Well. I went to my regular store, I had gotten to the point that dinners were going to be REALLY creative, (read, what can you make with 1 teaspoon peanut butter, chili, a stale hot dog bun, and a can with the label gone?), so I was shopping for, well pretty much all the staples.

I had lunch, and had developed... gas. I don't know why, but some meals make me a bit more... odoriferous than others. I try not to eat things that will do this and then go into public, but whatever was in my hamburger that day, Ohmigawd... I tried to not go into an aisle, unless I could quickly get where I needed to go and leave, grabbing whatever I needed at a near trot, so I could possibly get finished. This worked okay, until I entered the meat section. I was completely alone.

Until the women showed up.

I believe they were possibly in, oh, the late 70's, possibly 80's. And possibly hard of hearing. I hope they were hard of hearing anyway, I hope they weren't just that rude. I had, um, released a copious amount of gas, hoping it would dissipate before some unfortunant soul wandered by. No such luck, they showed when it was at its most fragrant.

One said to the other, somewhat loudly, "Something smells."

The other replied, LOUDLY, "Yes, it smells like a fart. I think that woman ahead of us farted!"

(I am trying to grab hamburger and put it in sacks, turning red, and hoping I don't let go with another round of gas...)

First woman, "Why is she putting the hamburger in bags? They don't stink!"

Second woman, LOUDLY again, "no, dear, she wants to make sure the hamburger doesn't leak, it's her FART that stinks, just wait, we'll get to the hamburger, too!"

By this time, I was hearing giggles from some other customers walking by. I don't know what was worse, being red-faced, the women continuing to talk about my gas release, or the fact I knew about 3 people that were in on this lovely conversation.

I did get my hamburger. I also am going to mainline Gas-X (TM) next time I shop.