Just WHO are they talking to?

I have cut back on my TV watching a bit, but I still like to watch certain shows... But, man, oh, man, do the powers that be have a STRANGE idea of who are watching said shows, and what they like...

I tend to watch old Westerns.  Now, I didn't think that they were that old, or that I was.  But...

I just started taking note of the commercials. 

Medicare, Will.  More medicare. Catheters. Oxygen supply.  'Nother ad for a will.  Reverse mortgage.  Three different ads for wills, back to back!

Cough...  ?

I really think that not one of those applies to me, and even if they did, Geez, folks, couldn't you throw a candy bar ad, or SOMETHING to break up the "YOU ARE GOING TO DIE" vibe? 

So, I started paying attention to ads during the news.  Different verse, similar to the first...

Constipation ad.  Hair shaver ad, men.  Constipation ad, hair shaver ad, women.  Two more men's shaver ads.  Two more constipation ads.  And lastly, women's shaver ad.

So people who watch the news are hairy and can't poop?  I believe the next night had hemorrhoid commercials, too.  Guess they REALLY can't poop...

When I have watched kid shows, they seem to have at least a little more variety.  Candy, toys, cereal.  Occasionally ads for baby diapers, and  washing pods...  That, at least, makes a bit more sense, most kiddos don't need home loans, or cars, at least at the age for the stuff I looked at.  It did surprise me a bit that they wouldn't target the parents more, at that point, but, meh...

So, I guess I just don't watch the right stuff.  Or I am an old codger that is hairy, can't poop, and gonna die... EEEP!!!

The only one I *might* admit to is hairy...

The throne room. With a new throne!

Well, it isn't pretty.  The potty in my bathroom was working, sort of.  It was not nice, even after scrubbing, and even pumice stones (!), I couldn't get it to look 'clean'.  Less dirty, perhaps, but it was a mess.  And it would tend to plug up, and try to run over, if you weren't paying attention.  This made potty business a very attentive activity.  You do NOT flush and walk off.

And the sad part is, Husband's toilet was worse.  I would clean, and it looked like I'd done... nothing.  And his would run, continually.  He finally figured out a way to flush and get it to stop, but I didn't have the magic touch, so would have to let him know if I used his toilet. Otherwise whatever time elapsed, we'd hear the sound of running water in the toilet.  Thank goodness we don't have city water, or we'd owe a king's ransom by this point!

But it was not pleasant, it was not good, and it did nothing for the pump, or the house.  So, Husband got the thought that we should get new toilets. 

Okay. Cool.

We trotted off to Orange Hardware, and after losing him, (ironically because I needed to use the bathroom), I found the right aisle for toilets.  He was looking at many, many toilets.  I stood and knit a hat nearby, amusing many shoppers.  (Someone made a comment about a toilet cover. Uh. Nooo... 😄)

We finally agreed on a toilet, and after scaring up some help for him to get it in the pickup, off we went home. 

He started removing my old toilet, which led to Ding getting 50 kinds of curious.  She wanted to be there.  It worked out all right, as he put her over on the mat. (Her 'place', as it were, and she was able to watch, and for the most part, not be in the way.)  He had all out, then we locked Ding in the bedroom for a minute, as he shuttled old toilet parts out, and brought new toilet parts in.  Amazingly, she didn't try playing the bongos on the door during all this!

He was worried about the toilet being not the right size, as the spot for it in my bathroom is narrow, and the pluming is right near the wall.  Well, it worked!  So, he put all the parts together, and  we buttoned everything up, the next morning he checked for any leaks or drips.

NONE!!!  :)

So he put caulking around the base, and I now have a new throne!

God Bless the Queen?

The one and only drawback so far, is the sound.  Remember I said the old one would try and run over?  The new one, when it flushes... Sounds like the old one when it runs over!  This has made me pay attention. 

I will get used to it... But heck, it works!!!!

Of mice, men, and plans.

Well, it's that season, when things slow down a bit, not much is happening, and so I made plans.

And that sound you hear is the Universe laughing so hard it wet itself...

Thought I would take Mom camping.  Dad had some problems, and so we delayed the trip.  I was going to do some personal camping, (read: I go out into the camper, stay in the back yard, and eat foods Husband doesn't like, read books, and binge watch Downton Abbey.  And work on the garden.  Probably in that order.)

So, we had a phone call.  We knew Husband's Dad and Mom in law had been talking about coming out.  So, it was his Dad.  Husband asked how it was going.  Dad in law pipes up, Oh, we're in Nebraska.

!!?!??!!!   !

Oh!  Well, I might still 'camp'.  But it will be a LOT shorter than I planned.  I believe, with the way the two of them drive, it wouldn't surprise me if they showed up at our house at, or before, Friday.  So, one day will be dedicated to making the table usable for several people, rather than an open concept office desk for the two of us.  Picking up the multiples of magazines I had set aside to read, too.  (Might just take those out to the "camp", and read them... Sometime?  Put them with the month's worth of newspapers I want to look through?  Gah...)

They have set up with a friend to have a place to stay nearby, so I don't have to worry too much about the accommodations, but I don't want to move things continually to give them a place to sit themselves, or their stuff, nor do I really want it to look like we had a tornado go through a paper mill before they visit...

I have food put back, so we shall have something that they can eat when they show up.  I have a few other things I need to make sure are taken care of.  Husband has a new hearing aid he needs adjusted, before they show.  I think that we will have enough things to entertain and amuse for a bit, they love to go and visit friends...  (Ok, except for the sort of sad comment, we asked if they were going to visit some friends in a nearby state, they said, no, they had all died, so there was no sense stopping.  With age comes wisdom, but it still sucks, from time to time...)

So, when Dad gets all his stuff and doings worked out, Husband's hearing is up to snuff, the in-laws are settled and doing well, and I get through any more surprises, we'll go do the camping thing.

Why, oh, why am I hearing that dang laughing again???

Call me. Or, wait. Um... Hello?

We've now had the new smart phones for a few weeks, and I am going to give it a solid 8 out of 10.  I reserve two points because you have to either look online for instruction, or call or go into the place we bought it at to get information.  No paper books that explain why it does what it does.  Also, a minus point because I can't seem to convince it not to make phone calls when I am trying to put a number in my address book... Fortune would have it, most of the folks I have dialed by accident seem to have had the same problem, and laugh it off.

I keep thinking about phones... My Dad worked for the local telephone company, and so we had several phones in the house.  We even had the old style crank phones, to call to the barn.  One of my friends walked around the house once, just counting phones.  I actually don't know how many we had, but Dad would often find two or three broken phones, and repair them to make one nice one.  Since they were 'junkers', we could keep the phone.  This lead to some really nice, but very unique phones.

I remember getting on the phone, and checking if anyone else was on.  Ah, yes, the good old party lines.  One jerk would leave the phone off hook each weekend, screwing up service for us.  Dad got permission from the company to disconnect them from the line, as he need to have phone service to get called out.  He received permission, and every Friday, he'd disconnect them.

They never noticed...

I recall needing to wait to call Grandma and Grandpa until after 5, as the rates were lower.  It seemed like SO many numbers to call them, since they were out of state...

I always thought it was cool, my Dad installed all the pay phones in the area, including the ones at my high school.  One of the guys told me he was going to knock down the phone booth when my Dad left.  Dad heard him, and I don't know exactly how he did it... I think the booth could have survived a 9.95 earthquake without even moving, when he finished.  I saw several football guys climb on top, then push on the roof, trying to displace it from the wall.  One fell, and did an interesting pommel horse style dismount, but no one ever did manage to pull it from the wall...

Later in high school, my parents let me stay home, when they went on a trip.  They'd told several family members and friends that I would be there, could they perhaps check on me?  This lead to me being late for school the first day they were gone, because I had all the family calling to make sure I was ready for school...

I got permission from my parents not to answer the phone the next day, which led to the family en masse calling Mom and Dad to let THEM know that I wasn't answering the phone.  Wherein, Mom had to explain that it was because I was GETTING READY FOR SCHOOL, and couldn't talk all morning.

Oh, right...

I had a really nice red phone when I was in college, a few of my friends made comments about whether it called the President...  Yes, I had unique friends.  My biggest thing was having an answering machine.  I really liked being able to come home and hear from family, or a friend reminding me about an event.  The only problem I had with it was one friend that had an extremely high voice.  The message would go something like,

BEEP, Hi this is So'nSo BEEP, next message BEEP, I just wanted to sayBEEP, next message, BEEP we are havingBEEP, and so on, for about 10 messages, until she could get the message to me.  I apologized, and she shrugged, she told me that it was what she had to do on almost every answering machine she'd dealt with.  I think the woman had a million times more patience than I will ever have.

I had a number that was one number off of the biggest greek house on campus.  It was not unusual to get phone calls at 2 AM asking if I would come get them.  If they were polite, often I'd call the greek house to go get them.  If they were jerks, I told them I would be right there, and hang up.  I wonder how many of the jerks were still waiting the next morning...

As time wore on, I learned about multi line phones, manage to entertain a company, where I didn't realize I'd hit the announcement button, until after the second or third "hello?"

The response by about 20 employees bellowing into the office was "HELLO, ALREADY!!"  Eeep.  Live and learn.

Dealing with voice mails, butt dialed numbers, and other sorts of modern phone maladies, has been ever useful for keeping grey cells functioning, if not patience.  With my new toy, I seem to have several things in my hands, a computer, a phone, a camera.  Hey, if I wait long enough, do you think I could get one that will make my cocoa in the morning?

I am only half joking, it seems like things I thought were so wow, are blaze' now.  I mean, I had a flip phone like Captain Kirk and Spock.  Jeez, now my phone is more like the on board computer!  Or even better, actually...

O is for... Old?

I had a friend that went into depression on her 40th birthday.  "I am so OOOOOLD!"  That repeated refrain sent me from mild sympathy, to mild humor, and dipped soon to mild annoyance.  I can't even remember how old I am, most of the time, without 'doing the math', so I really couldn't get worked up about it for my birthday.

I figure I'm lucky I am still around... I started thinking about age.

The oldest chicken I have - 4 years.

Rudee, my dog - nearing 12

The oldest llama I had, made it to about 26.

Oldest person that I can think of in my family - 95.

Oldest person I ever knew personally- 104.

Oldest (verified) living person -122

Oldest tree - around 4000 years old

Oldest known Barbeque - one million years ago, approximately...

Oldest known thing on Earth - 4.4 billion years old (a gem).

The Moon - 4.5 billion years, give or take.

Aaaannd the Universe, in general - 13.8 billion years, or thereabouts.

All things being equal, I feel pretty young, really!

*****

The weather has been sunny here, but today it's raining.  We could use it, a little bit... The various fruit trees here are flowering, which gives the aspect of snow when the wind blows in the afternoon. Somehow, I think there are several areas in the US that really would like THAT kind of 'snow storm' now...

Unfortunately, the wasps have been waking up and buzzing around.  I am sure happy Husband finished the bracing in the pole barn while it was still early!  I go out to my pickup, in said pole barn, and I might find one, two, or sometimes several wasps, sitting on the hood.  I have to be careful, this time of year, they will bounce onto some of the vents, and it's not unusual to have one or two in the CAB.  I am not allergic, small blessing, but I still don't want to be stung.  

I will be staying home today (gasp!!!), so I will be getting a fair amount of... Ok, if you do work on a computer is it still paperwork?  Anyway, I will be doing a lot of typing.

This is, of course, after I let the chickens have a morning run, and breakfast, and get the other animals (and myself) fed.  Then, if I have time, I might replant the zukes.  They went from two leaves to the true leaves in about a day or two, and the roots are now climbing out the bottom of the pot.  

Told ya they were ALIENS!!! 

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