H is for Holy Crap, I am late...

I thought I'd written an "H", and one reader (Hi, Mom) noticed it wasn't up. And I got busy, and STILL didn't put it up.  So, very late, I have an H blog.

Unlike most of my gal friends in grade school, and a few of my friends now, I have never had a love of horses.  I like horses.  I think they are beautiful animals, and depending on what they are used for, quite useful as well, like say, logging, riding, that sort of thing.  But I like them, as some one else's animal...

Having grown up with horses that were determined to see me DIE, STOMP THE HUMAN, DIE!  I guess it made me more than a little hinky around equine-y beings.  Which is unique, when I went to talk to my neighbor.

You guessed, she has horses.  She, in fact, trains them.  So, I needed to discuss some little thing with her, and she has this HUGE brown horse, that kept looking at me oddly.  Then, he drops a hoof on the cement. CLOP.  I jump.  The neighbor laughs, pets the horse, and says, "You need to be patient, I'm talking right now."  The horse sniffed slightly.  We finished our conversation, and I left.

The next day, I was walking on the road, and she has the horse out exercising with a cart.  I wasn't paying any attention.  Next thing I notice, the horse is watching me, and pacing the pace I was going.  The neighbor was talking with the student, and didn't notice, I guess.

I kept walking, walking a bit slower, to see if the horse was really pacing me, and sure enough, it matched my pace again.  I sped up a little, it twitched ears, then sped up.

About this time, neighbor looks up, and realized the doings.  She shook the leads, and called out, "You need to move, she is walking just fine on her own."  Another shake of the leads, and the horse lets out an unmistakable snort. And no faster.  The horse was wanting to walk with me!  And not in a malicious, I want to stomp you to dust thing, in that, Hi, I want to be friends way.

I still am a bit timid with horses. But I must say, that was a very pleasant change!

H is for...

Hats.

I wrote a blog on some of the hats I have a while ago.  I have, begrudgingly, taken to wearing a wide brimmed hat any time I am outside.  I have found that it leads to less problems with my face, and I don't get a sunburned nose quite as badly.

A friend of mine said something about her daughter, but it fits me as well.  If I were to go outside without sunscreen, (and a hat), I would burst into flame.

Possibly not literally, but I think I am just shy of being allergic to the sun.  Hence the hat.  It is funny, though, I have found that I wear a felt hat most of the time now, and get compliments and comments on it. This is my model, Buc the cat...

I hope I look a little better in it than he does...

Often I wear the felt hat with a tie dye t-shirt, and I carry a little suede peace sign bag with me.  This led to an interesting conversation...

I was putting some groceries in my rig, and Mom was in already, when this gal walks up and compliments me on my hat and shirt.

I thank her, then she pipes up, sooo, you have any ganja?

I snort, and tell her no, but it's hot out , (it was about 90 or so at the time), would she like some water?  She said sure, I gave her a little extra for her boyfriend and dog, and then got in.  As they were walking off, Mom inquired about what she'd asked about.

"She just wanted to know if I had pot."
"...  Marijuana?"
"Yeah.  Isn't the first time I've been asked."
"WHAT!?!?"

I told her with my outfit, it sort of encouraged discussion of recreational herbs...  She then said I should have told them about my volunteer job with the Sheriff's Office.

Meh.

My first thought about that would be, I don't want someone wetting themselves behind my rig!

H is for hand tools.

Husband and I have different ideas about doing projects.

I use a hammer.  He uses an air gun.  He likes things with motors, where I prefer tools that I control the speed, by how fast I move it.

When I first started spinning, Husband watched for a little bit.  He kept looking curious about it.  I finally asked what he was thinking.  "You could do that so much faster if there was a motor on it..."

Um.

Well, yes, I could.  But I actually enjoy doing the treadling.  Husband later bought an electric spinner, which I do like to use, but strangely, I don't enjoy it as much as the other.  Probably partly because it takes a bit to set up, where I can just sit down and start with my wheel, but it just seems like I am not really spinning.  Hard to explain, but the machine is doing the work, not me.  And I also use a drop spindle, now that I have found a new way to spin without it hurting my shoulder... Which is also extremely portable.

Husband likes to cut grass with a mower.  If it's a huge area, yes, I will agree.  But I like to use a scythe.  This has a great advantage.  I get exercise, it clears the grass quickly, and boy, when people see me walking out to the front, I get the most unique looks.  And I get to watch people go by REALLY fast...

But, I guess my favorite hand tool?  Knitting needles.  What else can I use to make something warm, scratch my back, or get something off a high shelf with one tool?

And the back thing can be very important!

H. Uh.... Ha. Hmmm. Hello?

H.  Hairballs.  Have nothing. 

Ho, Hum. 

Heck with it.  Here is what little I came up with...

"Hello, How are you today?"

Innocuous words, right?  Checkers say it every day when you go to a store.  Most reply with the rote, "Fine, thanks," or variations thereof.  But do you know how confusing or actually awestruck some people are, when you DON'T say "fine"?

I normally, just to be obnoxious, I suppose, say "Still doing."  It's neutral, like fine, but it's not that phrase.  I have had some clerks stop dead, and laugh, one or two ask if I am all right, (I reply, yes, because I am still doing, with a big grin...)

I even had one just stare, until I finally said, YES, fine, thanks.  Then she could start again. 
(DOES. NOT. COMPUTE...)

I have followed people that have come up with non-standard replies.  Sometimes, it's just answering honestly.  I followed this one older man, and the clerk said the usual "Hi, how are you?" 

Whereupon, he glared at her, replying that he had a headache, he had a doctor's appointment for a cancer screening, his dog had been hit by a car last week, and his feet hurt.

She looked like she'd been slapped.  She murmured niceties, and bagged him out quickly.  She looked almost panic stricken when I came up.  I decided to help out. "Hi, I am fine, and I hope you are doing the same, after that..."  She looked confused for a second, registered what I had said, then laughed so hard she started to tear. 

But I think a great response that I just heard, was about 2-3 days ago.  I was behind another bent, elderly man, who looked like a strong breeze would blow him away to dust.  The clerk's standard, "Hi, how are you?"

He grinned at the clerk, and straightening as much as he could, he piped up, "You know, I am above ground today, the rest is gravy!"

She looked non-plussed, but she also looked to be quite young...  I laughed, he laughed with me, and the clerk rolled her eyes.  I think I said something like "Well, I guess you had to be there..." 

Sadly, she missed the zinger completely.  Eh.

So, How are YOU today?

I saw geese flying back north, it didn't rain, I don't hurt, and my composter works.  Life, she is good.

(Wouldn't that strip a clerk's mental gears?  You just know I am gonna have to try it next shopping trip.)